The method
How to make it
Into the blender: white rum, coconut cream, pineapple juice and the lime juice, the lime is the seatbelt that keeps all that sweetness on the road.
Add about a cup and a half of ice, or better, swap half of it for frozen pineapple chunks: more flavor, less dilution.
Blend just until it turns over smooth and stops chattering. Over-blending makes soup; you want soft-serve with a straw.
Pour into a hurricane glass, leaving a little room at the top.
Float the dark rum gently over the back of a spoon so it sits on the surface like a sunset.
Garnish without shame: pineapple wedge, leaves, cherry, umbrella. All of it.
The serve
How to present it
There is no dignified pina colada, and that is the entire point. Tall glass, full garnish rig, paper umbrella at a jaunty angle, wide straw. Let the dark-rum float bleed down through the first few sips. If a guest asks for it 'without the umbrella,' charge them extra.
Make it yours
Swaps & variations
No blender? Shake everything hard and pour over crushed ice, that's the original 1950s service anyway. Layer it over a strawberry daiquiri for a Miami Vice. Coconut rum instead of white rum works, but cut the coconut cream back or you're drinking sunscreen. And a virgin colada is genuinely great, it's the rare cocktail that doesn't miss the alcohol.
In the glass
From every angle
Keep pouring
